What is your biggest fear? I'm sure you have been asked that question some point in your life. What is your answer? Sure it's something different for everyone but mine pretty much consumes a portion of every day of my life. I'm going to make myself a little bit vulnerable here and tell you what my biggest fear is and the reason is, I'm hoping, that by making it known or putting it out there, saying it aloud, will free me from it's hold on me. Ok, here goes nothing...I feel like Tom Cruis in Jerry McGuire when he writes his mission statement, sending a copy to everyone he works with and then immediately regrets it after it's too late...oh well, anyway... I seriously think about the end of the world at some point of every single day.
I wish I knew why it haunts me so much. I mean, I can tell you without a single doubt in my mind that I will be living for eternity up in heaven with the rest of my fellow believers. I know God has a plan for me and I trust that he has set aside a place for me up there. It's called faith and I've got it. What I don't know and neither do the rest of us, is when that eternity will begin and this life end or how it will end. God has said that no one, not even the angels in heaven know when the sun will cease to shine on this Earth again but one day it will...and THAT is where I begin to feel this uneasy, lump in my throat, worry. Every day I think, "Is this the day?" I think, "Should I be preparing for it?" or "What's going to happen to get me from Point A (Earth) to Point B (Heaven)?" I know there are those of you that have this true joy and anticipation to be up there in the presence of God and know that we will forever be free of all sicknesses, sadness, loneliness, hurt, pain, you name it, it will be gone. I know that that is true, deep down I really do know that. I know it will be beautiful beyond what I can even comprehend in my imagination, however, eternity is a hard word to grasp. Why can't I just have that same joy and anticipation and be ok with the fact that when it happens it happens?
You see so much of these post apocalyptic books and movies, TV shows such as Doomsday Preppers or documentaries about the End Times, all of it makes me crazy and to be honest, a little, ok, a lot, freaked out. I can't watch those shows but part of me wants to. Do they know something I don't or is it because am older and have my own family that I just notice this stuff more? Is Satan trying his best to bring me to the dark side? Probably he is. Is it that I can't handle the truth or don't want to know? Ugh, I wish I had the answers to my questions.
See, we have this progression in life. I know that I only have so long to live out my life here on Earth. I am a very happy girl who looks at life through rose colored glasses and likes it that way. I have goals that I want to meet, kids I have to raise, an awesome husband, great family and friends, mile stones to celebrate and the list goes on.... Once in heaven do you have any of that? I don't know, do you? I'm going to venture a guess and say no you don't either. Forever means never ending, EVER! I can not even grasp that. Does feeling this way make me any less of a Christian? Gosh, I certainly hope not, seriously I know it doesn't but I can't even handle the thought of not knowing my family as my family up in heaven. Is that the case? A little part of me feels childish for feeling this way. Another part makes me feels angry that I can't seem to control my thoughts. Maybe you share my fear?
Anyhow, so there you have it, something I bet you didn't know about me. I pray every day to free me from these thoughts and remove this fear and I will continue to do so. It's really all I can do.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The Week I Could Have Done Without
I just recently had a very challenging week all around. It started off with me getting a very bad grease burn on my wrist followed by 3 incidents with my kids that were totally exasperating. All three of them (my kids) actually gave me headaches. It got me thinking that many times us parents expect our kids to act and think like adults. When in fact, they are...kids. They do not think like adults, they can't think like adults, we shouldn't make them think like adults and we shouldn't make them understand adult problems and issues. They shouldn't have the weight of the world on their shoulders. They are going to make poor choices, push limits, say or do things that we can't figure out why they said or did such a thing. If you think your child is exempt of these, you are sadly mistaken. I am not dumb enough to think that this is the last of my challenges I will have to deal with, with my kids. Small kids, small challenges, big kids, bigger challenges. I guess it's all in how us adults deal with it. Believe me, I, half the time, am just trying to figure this parenting thing out like the rest of you. I don't have all the answers. I try things and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't and I'm back to square one. I make mistakes, I say things I regret sometimes but in the end after I've calmed down, stepped back, prayed, taken multiple deep breaths, vented, shed some tears and prayed, I'm able to see that I can handle this, it's not as bad as what I made it out to be and their is always a way to make it better (my husband usually helps me understand this when I can't and I am so very grateful for him).
Of course we (my husband and I) want to raise our children to be good law abiding citizens, respecting others, kind and always do the right thing. When they are at school, at friends houses, out in public, where ever they may be, I would like to think they exercise those teachings but sometimes they fall short as do some adults who shouldn't be practicing the "do as I say not as I do" way of parenting. When my children are not with me and other people are responsible for them, I expect my kids to listen to their rules and if they do not, they need to be told and for the most part that works out just fine. I'm sure you all feel the same way. Same applies when I have other peoples kids over my house, I expect them to follow our rules and be kind and respectful to each other. Reminds me of Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Such a true statement isn't it...well at least they will know the right thing to do but we can only hope that peer pressure doesn't stray them away from doing the right thing. Such a big fear of mine.
I guess you could say I'm a bit of a momma bear when it comes to my children. I'm protective of them and their feelings sometimes to the point that I have to bite my tongue or hold myself back from replying to something I didn't like. To a kid, their peers are a huge part of their lives. They want to be liked and they definitely don't want to be the odd kid out in any way. Hey us grown-ups don't like that either it's just that some of us know how to handle it better than others or should anyway. So far my kids are very open with me and their dad and tell us when they have hurt feelings or a situation they don't know how to handle and ask for advice on how to deal with it. I can't ask for much more than that, well except for them to think a little harder "before" they make a poor choice.
Well in one of the particular incidents that happened with one of my kids, I was met with a situation I didn't think I would have to deal with but here I was literally face-to-face with the situation and I had to make a choice. A choice to not get defensive saying my child could never be involved in such a thing because frankly I wasn't there so I don't know what happened. I made a choice to take the high road and tackle it head-on, offering help in making the situation better and making my child offer to do the same whether she liked it or not. I can't do any more than that. I absolutely hate being in this position and kids have a way of putting us in crumby positions at times but it's our job as parents to use every one of those crumby situations and learn from it so we can use it as a teaching tool. You take the good with the bad, right! I'll let you know how that works out for me (insert snicker here.)
Now before you think that this is all negative about my kids. It's really not. I'm over it, all of it. Things happen, they receive their punishments and we move on. I don't throw the past back in their face and I can just hope that none of it happens again. We shall see...at least I can say that my life is never dull or boring. Here's to a new week and so far it's been pretty darn good.
Of course we (my husband and I) want to raise our children to be good law abiding citizens, respecting others, kind and always do the right thing. When they are at school, at friends houses, out in public, where ever they may be, I would like to think they exercise those teachings but sometimes they fall short as do some adults who shouldn't be practicing the "do as I say not as I do" way of parenting. When my children are not with me and other people are responsible for them, I expect my kids to listen to their rules and if they do not, they need to be told and for the most part that works out just fine. I'm sure you all feel the same way. Same applies when I have other peoples kids over my house, I expect them to follow our rules and be kind and respectful to each other. Reminds me of Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Such a true statement isn't it...well at least they will know the right thing to do but we can only hope that peer pressure doesn't stray them away from doing the right thing. Such a big fear of mine.
I guess you could say I'm a bit of a momma bear when it comes to my children. I'm protective of them and their feelings sometimes to the point that I have to bite my tongue or hold myself back from replying to something I didn't like. To a kid, their peers are a huge part of their lives. They want to be liked and they definitely don't want to be the odd kid out in any way. Hey us grown-ups don't like that either it's just that some of us know how to handle it better than others or should anyway. So far my kids are very open with me and their dad and tell us when they have hurt feelings or a situation they don't know how to handle and ask for advice on how to deal with it. I can't ask for much more than that, well except for them to think a little harder "before" they make a poor choice.
Well in one of the particular incidents that happened with one of my kids, I was met with a situation I didn't think I would have to deal with but here I was literally face-to-face with the situation and I had to make a choice. A choice to not get defensive saying my child could never be involved in such a thing because frankly I wasn't there so I don't know what happened. I made a choice to take the high road and tackle it head-on, offering help in making the situation better and making my child offer to do the same whether she liked it or not. I can't do any more than that. I absolutely hate being in this position and kids have a way of putting us in crumby positions at times but it's our job as parents to use every one of those crumby situations and learn from it so we can use it as a teaching tool. You take the good with the bad, right! I'll let you know how that works out for me (insert snicker here.)
Now before you think that this is all negative about my kids. It's really not. I'm over it, all of it. Things happen, they receive their punishments and we move on. I don't throw the past back in their face and I can just hope that none of it happens again. We shall see...at least I can say that my life is never dull or boring. Here's to a new week and so far it's been pretty darn good.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
My Household Lock-down
So there is a Government Shut-down in effect. Well I willfully put our family in a Household Lock-down.
The Government Shut-down is because the two sides can not come to an agreement. I live in a Household Lock-down because my younger two kids and I do not agree in the way our house should run.
Those that are affected by the Government Shut-down are on furlough without pay. Those of us on a Household Lock-down have never received pay.
The last Government Shut-down in 1995 lasted 22 days. My Household Lock-down has lasted 6 years and counting.
During the Government Shut-down all federal government buildings are closed. During the 6 years of Household Lock-down, every room in the upstairs is locked during the toddlers waking hours. Along with my pantry, sliding glass door, front screen door, laundry room door, all kitchen cupboards and drawers.
The Government Shut-down has impacted A LOT of people and made them very unhappy (and rightfully so) while the government continues to get paid and go about their merry way. My Household Lock-down allows me to continue to be sane while my two youngest kids continue to complain about not being able to get into the rooms, pantry, drawers, cupboards, etc... without authorization from me or their father.
The Government Shut-down is a consequence of the mess the government has put us in and the enormous debt our country is in. My Household Lock-down was put in effect as to not have my house destroyed any more than it already is and to cut down on the continual mess my two youngest children make, therefore, to keep us from enormous debt.
The Government Shut-down can be resolved if both sides can work together and come to an agreement on how to move forward. My Household Lock-down can also be resolved if my two youngest kids would follow one simple rule: To Listen! Sounds easy to you an me, however, not for a certain two kids who think they can do, eat, take what they want, when they want it. Until then, we move forward with continued lock-down.
**I want to make very clear that I am in no way making fun of those who are seriously affected by the governments actions that cause some of you to be at home without pay. That is no laughing matter what-so-ever. I am, however, making light of a crazy situation with a little mom humor that is true to my life.
The Government Shut-down is because the two sides can not come to an agreement. I live in a Household Lock-down because my younger two kids and I do not agree in the way our house should run.
Those that are affected by the Government Shut-down are on furlough without pay. Those of us on a Household Lock-down have never received pay.
The last Government Shut-down in 1995 lasted 22 days. My Household Lock-down has lasted 6 years and counting.
During the Government Shut-down all federal government buildings are closed. During the 6 years of Household Lock-down, every room in the upstairs is locked during the toddlers waking hours. Along with my pantry, sliding glass door, front screen door, laundry room door, all kitchen cupboards and drawers.
The Government Shut-down has impacted A LOT of people and made them very unhappy (and rightfully so) while the government continues to get paid and go about their merry way. My Household Lock-down allows me to continue to be sane while my two youngest kids continue to complain about not being able to get into the rooms, pantry, drawers, cupboards, etc... without authorization from me or their father.
The Government Shut-down is a consequence of the mess the government has put us in and the enormous debt our country is in. My Household Lock-down was put in effect as to not have my house destroyed any more than it already is and to cut down on the continual mess my two youngest children make, therefore, to keep us from enormous debt.
The Government Shut-down can be resolved if both sides can work together and come to an agreement on how to move forward. My Household Lock-down can also be resolved if my two youngest kids would follow one simple rule: To Listen! Sounds easy to you an me, however, not for a certain two kids who think they can do, eat, take what they want, when they want it. Until then, we move forward with continued lock-down.
**I want to make very clear that I am in no way making fun of those who are seriously affected by the governments actions that cause some of you to be at home without pay. That is no laughing matter what-so-ever. I am, however, making light of a crazy situation with a little mom humor that is true to my life.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
No Place I'd Rather Be
I want to be a small town southern girl that lives on a farm with a huge vegetable garden, a barn with a couple horses, a cow, some chickens, a rooster, maybe a pig to fatten up, a few goats, one or two big dogs that will follow me wherever I go and a slew of barn cats to keep the mice away. Not to mention beautiful fields of wildflowers that adorn my property and an herb garden that you would see at the botanical gardens. I don't want to deal with any winters and when I walk outside I want to sit on my huge front porch looking at my big red barn and my neighbors so far away that the only thing I see is their corn fields edging my property. I want to auction off my pigs and cows each year to other farmers. I want to meet at the local restaurant in town to gab about what feed is the best and if I am going to be attending the Smiths pig roast and what dish I am going to bring to the church's Sunday potluck. I would home school my children and the best learning tools would be them working on the farm. I want to bake breads, make pies, have a cellar full of canned goods and a freezer full of beef, pork and chicken. I want to "work" along side the love of my life and admire him as he tends to the farms needs. I want to listen to my husband play country music on his guitar out by the fire while I am smoking a beef brisket for later. I want to walk down the country roads, kickin up dust from my boots with no where to go and no place I'd rather be. I want our family to live in the same town and do the same stuff and know the same people. That's not asking too much is it?
Seems that the older I get the farther away from any type of city life I want to be. I wouldn't be sad if I rarely saw a highway with bumper to bumper traffic heading into the city. I would of course like to visit those places but not live there. I honestly don't know how some people raise their families in the city. Nope, that life's not for me.
I have some friends who live on a farm and some friends and family who live in the South and oh how I admire them. I know it's a lot of work to run a farm like that but at the same time there is a sort of simplicity to living that life. No rat-race to worry about and our bosses, the animals, would always be grateful for time spent with them and providing food, water and shelter. For giving a little, we gain a lot! Maybe all the time spent on Kelleys Island, living the island life there, has given me a tiny peak into what living in a small town is like...and I love it.
I'm not saying that I am unhappy in the life I lead now, not one bit. I am truly blessed in every way. In some aspects I have the best of both worlds. I don't think a person ever stops growing but for me I feel that I have grown so much in so many different ways in say...the last 5 or so years. I know some of it's age I suppose. I really don't know how to describe it, maybe it just plain pure happiness. Doing what we want, when we want to do it, however it is we want to do it and with whomever we want to do it with, not caring so much what other people think. Making choices that are best for my family and praising God for what we are so blessed with. We all get one go at this life, why not make it the best it can be. Experiencing it how it was supposed to be experienced with people who brighten your world.
I don't know, maybe one day, you'll find that me and my family have packed up and headed for the life I described, maybe a little modified...we have been know to make a few spontaneous decisions, so it very well could happen? Kinda goes along with one of my favorite quotes, "If you wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, you shall never begin" Ivan Turgenev. Better late than never, right?
Seems that the older I get the farther away from any type of city life I want to be. I wouldn't be sad if I rarely saw a highway with bumper to bumper traffic heading into the city. I would of course like to visit those places but not live there. I honestly don't know how some people raise their families in the city. Nope, that life's not for me.
I have some friends who live on a farm and some friends and family who live in the South and oh how I admire them. I know it's a lot of work to run a farm like that but at the same time there is a sort of simplicity to living that life. No rat-race to worry about and our bosses, the animals, would always be grateful for time spent with them and providing food, water and shelter. For giving a little, we gain a lot! Maybe all the time spent on Kelleys Island, living the island life there, has given me a tiny peak into what living in a small town is like...and I love it.
I'm not saying that I am unhappy in the life I lead now, not one bit. I am truly blessed in every way. In some aspects I have the best of both worlds. I don't think a person ever stops growing but for me I feel that I have grown so much in so many different ways in say...the last 5 or so years. I know some of it's age I suppose. I really don't know how to describe it, maybe it just plain pure happiness. Doing what we want, when we want to do it, however it is we want to do it and with whomever we want to do it with, not caring so much what other people think. Making choices that are best for my family and praising God for what we are so blessed with. We all get one go at this life, why not make it the best it can be. Experiencing it how it was supposed to be experienced with people who brighten your world.
I don't know, maybe one day, you'll find that me and my family have packed up and headed for the life I described, maybe a little modified...we have been know to make a few spontaneous decisions, so it very well could happen? Kinda goes along with one of my favorite quotes, "If you wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, you shall never begin" Ivan Turgenev. Better late than never, right?
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
I Have a Dream
I thought this would be fitting seeing as though this day marks the 50 year anniversary of the Martin Luther King Jr.'s, I Have a Dream speech. All of us have known this speech pretty much our whole lives but I actually learned a few things about it today. For instance, he didn't set out to give that speech that day, he actually had a scripted speech that he was in the middle of reading when a women from the crowd yelled out, "Dr. King, tell them about your dream!" So that is exactly what he did. Off the cuff he delivered that 17 min speech that became one of the most well know speeches of all time. Another fact I learned was that at the end of his speech, as he was leaving the podium, a little boy asked Dr. King if he could have a copy of the speech, so instead, he folded up the speech and handed it to the little boy and that "little boy" still has that piece of paper to this day that he says will never be sold even though he was offered 3 million for it. Some interesting facts aren't they?
I was thinking about this subject actually, well more of the subject of diversity and I have some thoughts myself about it. How many of us really welcome diversity in our lives and I don't just mean the color of our skin but everything that diversity stands for? Are you accepting of others who aren't like you? Sounds silly to write that sentence, kinda like I'm writing a paper for an elementary school assignment but to be serious here, really think about it, are you accepting of those who say..., don't share the same views as you? Do you want your friends to think like you think and if they don't does it make you annoyed or a bit exasperated? I believe most of us feel a little like that at times with different subjects that we feel strongly about. This is what I mean, I'll give you a couple examples: Food has become the thing to talk about, watch on TV, to be a foodie is all the rage, and everyone has their opinion on the subject. I for one have many friends who are on every part of the spectrum when it comes to what they eat or won't eat and why and what they label themselves as. Everything from being a strict vegan, juicer, clean eater, moderation eater and the Foodie and that is just the condensed list. I, however, eat what I like. I get annoyed with the Foodie who sits on their high horse and criticizes things that are any less than perfection on there pallet (insert eye-roll here). But I have tried really hard to be accepting of those who choose to eat/do things with there food differently. How boring would this world be if everyone did the same exact thing? I believe it's called communism or North Korea.
I have this wonderful, awesome group of girl friends that get together every year to spend some quality time with, to re-charge the batteries, if you want to call it and laugh till it hurts. Each of these women are so different from each other yet we still have this very strong bond that no matter the length of time we are away from each other and the changes we go through in each of our lives, we still come together at the very least, that one weekend each year and never skip a beat. One of those dear girls would love to live in a tee-pee, yes a tee-pee, she also happens to be vegan and lives on an organic farm. Another girl just became cancer free and is living her life to be more non-toxic and learned that everyday is a gift. Another girl just does her own thing and we don't hear from her until it's time to plan the next Girls Weekend but we know she'll be there and so on. See what makes our bond so special is that each of us know we can learn something and appreciate each of us for who we are and what we believe in. We share stories and eat each other's food creations. We cry, laugh, listen and know that we can be ourselves. I think it's so important to have. I must add that sometimes we do like to throw in our advice and/or opinions and that's okay too.
This goes the same for family too. Just because we are family certainly doesn't mean that we all think the same way, act the same way and do the same things. No way hose', lol. Actually it's far from that. Families are usually where you find the most diversity in thinking and that can cause tension between them. The good thing about family is that they are bonded to you no matter what and like kids, they act out to the ones they love the most. Doesn't mean it's any easier to take or right but really it's the truth.
So my take-away of the day is to think before you speak and act. Be open to others who are different in what they think and do. Learn something from them. Be kind. Be thankful and you will see that people will respond to you in a much different way, a better way. It's a simple solution to a big problem in the world. Slow down, enjoy all parts of God's gift of life here on this place called Earth.
What's your dream?
I was thinking about this subject actually, well more of the subject of diversity and I have some thoughts myself about it. How many of us really welcome diversity in our lives and I don't just mean the color of our skin but everything that diversity stands for? Are you accepting of others who aren't like you? Sounds silly to write that sentence, kinda like I'm writing a paper for an elementary school assignment but to be serious here, really think about it, are you accepting of those who say..., don't share the same views as you? Do you want your friends to think like you think and if they don't does it make you annoyed or a bit exasperated? I believe most of us feel a little like that at times with different subjects that we feel strongly about. This is what I mean, I'll give you a couple examples: Food has become the thing to talk about, watch on TV, to be a foodie is all the rage, and everyone has their opinion on the subject. I for one have many friends who are on every part of the spectrum when it comes to what they eat or won't eat and why and what they label themselves as. Everything from being a strict vegan, juicer, clean eater, moderation eater and the Foodie and that is just the condensed list. I, however, eat what I like. I get annoyed with the Foodie who sits on their high horse and criticizes things that are any less than perfection on there pallet (insert eye-roll here). But I have tried really hard to be accepting of those who choose to eat/do things with there food differently. How boring would this world be if everyone did the same exact thing? I believe it's called communism or North Korea.
I have this wonderful, awesome group of girl friends that get together every year to spend some quality time with, to re-charge the batteries, if you want to call it and laugh till it hurts. Each of these women are so different from each other yet we still have this very strong bond that no matter the length of time we are away from each other and the changes we go through in each of our lives, we still come together at the very least, that one weekend each year and never skip a beat. One of those dear girls would love to live in a tee-pee, yes a tee-pee, she also happens to be vegan and lives on an organic farm. Another girl just became cancer free and is living her life to be more non-toxic and learned that everyday is a gift. Another girl just does her own thing and we don't hear from her until it's time to plan the next Girls Weekend but we know she'll be there and so on. See what makes our bond so special is that each of us know we can learn something and appreciate each of us for who we are and what we believe in. We share stories and eat each other's food creations. We cry, laugh, listen and know that we can be ourselves. I think it's so important to have. I must add that sometimes we do like to throw in our advice and/or opinions and that's okay too.
This goes the same for family too. Just because we are family certainly doesn't mean that we all think the same way, act the same way and do the same things. No way hose', lol. Actually it's far from that. Families are usually where you find the most diversity in thinking and that can cause tension between them. The good thing about family is that they are bonded to you no matter what and like kids, they act out to the ones they love the most. Doesn't mean it's any easier to take or right but really it's the truth.
So my take-away of the day is to think before you speak and act. Be open to others who are different in what they think and do. Learn something from them. Be kind. Be thankful and you will see that people will respond to you in a much different way, a better way. It's a simple solution to a big problem in the world. Slow down, enjoy all parts of God's gift of life here on this place called Earth.
What's your dream?
Thursday, August 15, 2013
The Wrong Kind of Shock Therapy
Last week I was on Kelleys Island with the kids, enjoying a great time off the grid and decided to go to The Kelleys Island Wine Co. for one of Anna's favorites on the island, their flatbread pizza's. I like to go to the winery because it's laid back, as most places on the island are. You can sit outside on the lawn which has picnic tables, horseshoe pits and corn holes and it even has a kids play area, which makes it nice for the little ones to have something to do. Next to the winery is a cattle farm, yes a cattle farm and to keep the cattle on there own side, they have an electric fence. They have small signs all along the fence to warn that it is electric. Here's where this story gets interesting...So, during this particular visit, we decided to sit outside by the play area so the kids could run around and play. The girls quickly found a few friends while I walked around with baby Neil as he explored his surroundings, like he usually does. When he was done exploring, he went over and started playing with the other kids so I went to sit down at the table and have a bite to eat. In a matter of seconds, baby Neil ran over to the cattle fence, touched the bars and ZAP! He got an electric shock! I was in the middle of running to get him before he touched it but he was too fast for me at that moment and I was just a couple feet away from him. I scooped him up because he was screaming, looked at his forearm and he had red lines all over it from where he touched the fence. I have to say I was pretty calm but at the same time upset that this happened at all.
I sat down and thought about how I should handle the situation "before" I reacted in haste. I made the decision that I should let the winery know what happened for the simple fact that the play area that they so nicely provide is too close to the electric fence and to please move it to the other side. When this happened, it was only 10ft away and if it happened so easily with my child, I'm quite sure it's had to have happen before.
I went inside and asked a server for a manager. She told me she was not there right now and that I should call later that day. I showed her my son's arm and the first thing out of her mouth was, "There are signs posted all over the fence, sorry." Well that didn't fly with me at all. So I asked her to write down the manager's name and phone number. She said she was busy and she couldn't do that. Are you kidding me??? So I asked her again and again her reply was that she was too busy. At this point I was getting more upset by the minuet that I was being blown off, so I told her, "If you do not write down the name and number of your manager right now, I will call the police and report this situation!" Well, I had the name and number in my hand in less than 30 seconds. I hate being like that but this situation called for it. Now, at that same moment, out comes the owner of the winery who was just catching wind of what had happened and came out to talk to me. I calmly showed him my son's arm and before he listened to what I had to say, his immediate response was, "That looks like a bug bite but there are signs posted all along the fence and it's been there for 30 yrs. and it's not considered there property and only a few kids a year get zapped, sorry!" Oh boy, deep breaths! I politely asked him why he was getting so defensive before he had listened to what I had to say? He shut up so I could talk. I told him that I know that the signs are posted on the fence, I realize it's not there property BUT they might want to move the play area far enough away or put a barricade up by that area so this doesn't happen to ANY kids at all. He shut down my barricade idea and again started to get defensive until I explained that this could have been serious. Well then he changed his tune, offered to buy "baby" Neil a root beer, which I declined, and said that they need to move the play area away from the fence. I said thank you and was on my way. Now can someone please tell me what is wrong here and what is wrong with people?
The more I talk about it, the more upset I become. While "in the moment" I was only thinking about the red lines up and down my sons arm and his screaming. I started to believe that maybe it was my fault for not catching him before he touched the fence. Now, after the fact, I know it is NOT my fault and even though signs are posted, NO WAY should a children's play area be anywhere close to an electric fence, period! If they had no where else to put this play area then they should most certainly have a barricade in front of that fence as to avoid any injuries to children. I should have been asked to write up a report by the winery but I was not. I am not the type of person to make a big deal out of things and cause problems but when a child gets shocked by an electric currant at a restaurant, that's where I draw the line. Especially when it could have been avoided and handled in a much different manner by the staff and owner.
To be honest, I don't want the winery to take away the play area altogether because I do think it's nice they provide it and I tried to tell them that but I just wanted to get through to them that maybe they need to re-think the placement of things and how they handle serious situations like mine. I don't know if I got through to them or not but later that day the play area was moved far away from the electric fence. It makes me sad that I was treated in such a poor manner and made to feel like it was my fault and a careless mother. I also believe that they are lucky that this didn't happen to another family that could have sued the snot out of them and won. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Kelleys Island and all it's quirkiness, that's what makes it so unique and quaint but to keep up with it's wonderful reputation, things like this should be handled properly and respectfully and with the utmost concern that one of their customer's that keep them in business, was caused harm by an avoidable situation.
Never a dull moment in the day and life of the The Stenger Family.
**Update: September 4, 2013**
While I was up on Kelleys Island this past Labor Day Weekend, I went to the KI Police Dept. and filed a report and spoke to the chief and officers, in length, about the situation and they guided me on what I should do. I feel better that I did that and now I have started a paper trail in case anything, God forbid, should happen in the future.
People must realize that when something like this happens, go with your gut. If the situation feels wrong, it probably is. Do not let someone make you feel guilty for their stupidity just because they got caught! It is not in my character to sue the pants off people and make them pay for their wrong doing BUT it is my character to make sure they know what they did was wrong so it doesn't happen again, to anyone! I'd be singing a different tune, however, if the outcome of "my" situation was different.
I sat down and thought about how I should handle the situation "before" I reacted in haste. I made the decision that I should let the winery know what happened for the simple fact that the play area that they so nicely provide is too close to the electric fence and to please move it to the other side. When this happened, it was only 10ft away and if it happened so easily with my child, I'm quite sure it's had to have happen before.
I went inside and asked a server for a manager. She told me she was not there right now and that I should call later that day. I showed her my son's arm and the first thing out of her mouth was, "There are signs posted all over the fence, sorry." Well that didn't fly with me at all. So I asked her to write down the manager's name and phone number. She said she was busy and she couldn't do that. Are you kidding me??? So I asked her again and again her reply was that she was too busy. At this point I was getting more upset by the minuet that I was being blown off, so I told her, "If you do not write down the name and number of your manager right now, I will call the police and report this situation!" Well, I had the name and number in my hand in less than 30 seconds. I hate being like that but this situation called for it. Now, at that same moment, out comes the owner of the winery who was just catching wind of what had happened and came out to talk to me. I calmly showed him my son's arm and before he listened to what I had to say, his immediate response was, "That looks like a bug bite but there are signs posted all along the fence and it's been there for 30 yrs. and it's not considered there property and only a few kids a year get zapped, sorry!" Oh boy, deep breaths! I politely asked him why he was getting so defensive before he had listened to what I had to say? He shut up so I could talk. I told him that I know that the signs are posted on the fence, I realize it's not there property BUT they might want to move the play area far enough away or put a barricade up by that area so this doesn't happen to ANY kids at all. He shut down my barricade idea and again started to get defensive until I explained that this could have been serious. Well then he changed his tune, offered to buy "baby" Neil a root beer, which I declined, and said that they need to move the play area away from the fence. I said thank you and was on my way. Now can someone please tell me what is wrong here and what is wrong with people?
The more I talk about it, the more upset I become. While "in the moment" I was only thinking about the red lines up and down my sons arm and his screaming. I started to believe that maybe it was my fault for not catching him before he touched the fence. Now, after the fact, I know it is NOT my fault and even though signs are posted, NO WAY should a children's play area be anywhere close to an electric fence, period! If they had no where else to put this play area then they should most certainly have a barricade in front of that fence as to avoid any injuries to children. I should have been asked to write up a report by the winery but I was not. I am not the type of person to make a big deal out of things and cause problems but when a child gets shocked by an electric currant at a restaurant, that's where I draw the line. Especially when it could have been avoided and handled in a much different manner by the staff and owner.
To be honest, I don't want the winery to take away the play area altogether because I do think it's nice they provide it and I tried to tell them that but I just wanted to get through to them that maybe they need to re-think the placement of things and how they handle serious situations like mine. I don't know if I got through to them or not but later that day the play area was moved far away from the electric fence. It makes me sad that I was treated in such a poor manner and made to feel like it was my fault and a careless mother. I also believe that they are lucky that this didn't happen to another family that could have sued the snot out of them and won. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Kelleys Island and all it's quirkiness, that's what makes it so unique and quaint but to keep up with it's wonderful reputation, things like this should be handled properly and respectfully and with the utmost concern that one of their customer's that keep them in business, was caused harm by an avoidable situation.
Never a dull moment in the day and life of the The Stenger Family.
**Update: September 4, 2013**
While I was up on Kelleys Island this past Labor Day Weekend, I went to the KI Police Dept. and filed a report and spoke to the chief and officers, in length, about the situation and they guided me on what I should do. I feel better that I did that and now I have started a paper trail in case anything, God forbid, should happen in the future.
People must realize that when something like this happens, go with your gut. If the situation feels wrong, it probably is. Do not let someone make you feel guilty for their stupidity just because they got caught! It is not in my character to sue the pants off people and make them pay for their wrong doing BUT it is my character to make sure they know what they did was wrong so it doesn't happen again, to anyone! I'd be singing a different tune, however, if the outcome of "my" situation was different.
Monday, July 15, 2013
On a Wing and a Prayer
Sorry friends, I have taken summer break seriously and have not been in the mood to blog. I have been busy enjoying life and warm summer weather and the last thing I've been feeling like doing is sitting downstairs in my basement like a troll and blogging. So here I am, back at least for today.
Most of you know that Neil and I along with our kids, LOVE Kelleys Island. For years we would talk about having a cottage on the island and being able to enjoy the island as much as we wanted. Well we didn't want to get old and that still be a dream that never became a reality. Sooooooo, we just did it, we decided to make it happen. Our journey has been, to say the least, a huge adventure! As much as we would have liked to hand contractors a bunch of checks and a blueprint and say, "Call us when it's done." The reality was, if this is something that we really, really want, we would have to do most of it ourselves and it will get done, when it gets done. So we set out on this journey on a wing and a prayer (actually many prayers) to make it to this point... Neil has been writing a blog to document the Our House Cottage project and I would love to share it with all of you. So if you are curious, take a look at a snip-it into our dream come true, Our House Cottage http://kelleysislandcottage.blogspot.com
I did say above that "we" had to do most of it ourselves but let me just clarify that I probably shouldn't have used "we" as my word of choice. I need to be truthful here and say that my husband Neil has busted his butt, spent countless days, hours and weekends doing the work up there along with our dear family and friends. While I do help when I can, the kids need taking care of, so that's the trade-off.
Enjoy your summer days...
Most of you know that Neil and I along with our kids, LOVE Kelleys Island. For years we would talk about having a cottage on the island and being able to enjoy the island as much as we wanted. Well we didn't want to get old and that still be a dream that never became a reality. Sooooooo, we just did it, we decided to make it happen. Our journey has been, to say the least, a huge adventure! As much as we would have liked to hand contractors a bunch of checks and a blueprint and say, "Call us when it's done." The reality was, if this is something that we really, really want, we would have to do most of it ourselves and it will get done, when it gets done. So we set out on this journey on a wing and a prayer (actually many prayers) to make it to this point... Neil has been writing a blog to document the Our House Cottage project and I would love to share it with all of you. So if you are curious, take a look at a snip-it into our dream come true, Our House Cottage http://kelleysislandcottage.blogspot.com
I did say above that "we" had to do most of it ourselves but let me just clarify that I probably shouldn't have used "we" as my word of choice. I need to be truthful here and say that my husband Neil has busted his butt, spent countless days, hours and weekends doing the work up there along with our dear family and friends. While I do help when I can, the kids need taking care of, so that's the trade-off.
Enjoy your summer days...
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