I just recently had a very challenging week all around. It started off with me getting a very bad grease burn on my wrist followed by 3 incidents with my kids that were totally exasperating. All three of them (my kids) actually gave me headaches. It got me thinking that many times us parents expect our kids to act and think like adults. When in fact, they are...kids. They do not think like adults, they can't think like adults, we shouldn't make them think like adults and we shouldn't make them understand adult problems and issues. They shouldn't have the weight of the world on their shoulders. They are going to make poor choices, push limits, say or do things that we can't figure out why they said or did such a thing. If you think your child is exempt of these, you are sadly mistaken. I am not dumb enough to think that this is the last of my challenges I will have to deal with, with my kids. Small kids, small challenges, big kids, bigger challenges. I guess it's all in how us adults deal with it. Believe me, I, half the time, am just trying to figure this parenting thing out like the rest of you. I don't have all the answers. I try things and sometimes they work and sometimes they don't and I'm back to square one. I make mistakes, I say things I regret sometimes but in the end after I've calmed down, stepped back, prayed, taken multiple deep breaths, vented, shed some tears and prayed, I'm able to see that I can handle this, it's not as bad as what I made it out to be and their is always a way to make it better (my husband usually helps me understand this when I can't and I am so very grateful for him).
Of course we (my husband and I) want to raise our children to be good law abiding citizens, respecting others, kind and always do the right thing. When they are at school, at friends houses, out in public, where ever they may be, I would like to think they exercise those teachings but sometimes they fall short as do some adults who shouldn't be practicing the "do as I say not as I do" way of parenting. When my children are not with me and other people are responsible for them, I expect my kids to listen to their rules and if they do not, they need to be told and for the most part that works out just fine. I'm sure you all feel the same way. Same applies when I have other peoples kids over my house, I expect them to follow our rules and be kind and respectful to each other. Reminds me of Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Such a true statement isn't it...well at least they will know the right thing to do but we can only hope that peer pressure doesn't stray them away from doing the right thing. Such a big fear of mine.
I guess you could say I'm a bit of a momma bear when it comes to my children. I'm protective of them and their feelings sometimes to the point that I have to bite my tongue or hold myself back from replying to something I didn't like. To a kid, their peers are a huge part of their lives. They want to be liked and they definitely don't want to be the odd kid out in any way. Hey us grown-ups don't like that either it's just that some of us know how to handle it better than others or should anyway. So far my kids are very open with me and their dad and tell us when they have hurt feelings or a situation they don't know how to handle and ask for advice on how to deal with it. I can't ask for much more than that, well except for them to think a little harder "before" they make a poor choice.
Well in one of the particular incidents that happened with one of my kids, I was met with a situation I didn't think I would have to deal with but here I was literally face-to-face with the situation and I had to make a choice. A choice to not get defensive saying my child could never be involved in such a thing because frankly I wasn't there so I don't know what happened. I made a choice to take the high road and tackle it head-on, offering help in making the situation better and making my child offer to do the same whether she liked it or not. I can't do any more than that. I absolutely hate being in this position and kids have a way of putting us in crumby positions at times but it's our job as parents to use every one of those crumby situations and learn from it so we can use it as a teaching tool. You take the good with the bad, right! I'll let you know how that works out for me (insert snicker here.)
Now before you think that this is all negative about my kids. It's really not. I'm over it, all of it. Things happen, they receive their punishments and we move on. I don't throw the past back in their face and I can just hope that none of it happens again. We shall see...at least I can say that my life is never dull or boring. Here's to a new week and so far it's been pretty darn good.
